Even though we are passionate about supporting military families, we are often so focused on the day-to-day operations of running a military nonprofit organization that we don’t always get to see the benefits our work brings to military families. We recently had the privilege of sitting down with one of our beneficiaries, Connor, a young marine stationed in Okinawa, Japan, to talk about his experience.
The Ben Jackson Foundation gave him a priceless opportunity to surprise his dad for Father’s Day. Stories like his keep us grounded and remind us why we do what we do. We hope his story will show you the importance of military nonprofits like ours that give these incredible young people the financial assistance they need to reunite with their family members.
Meet Connor
“I’ve been stationed in Okinawa since January 2022. I came home in April the first year for my little sister’s graduation from high school, but I’ve been over here nonstop since then. Then, I deployed from Okinawa on the USS America for a few months and returned in March. I have two older brothers and close friends I consider my little sisters. I did not come from a military family, but it was my lifelong dream to join the Marine Corps after high school. When the time came, my family and friends knew I would make it!”
The Hardships Of Being Away From Home
“You know, it’s really hard adjusting to military life. I’ve always been someone whose family has been vital to me. I lost my mom when I was 12 years old, so the family that I do have is really, really important to me. Being so far away from them, with a 15-hour time difference from back home, can make talking to them difficult. You can go days or weeks without finding the time in both your schedules to talk.
There are also little ramifications that I never considered. For instance, we get 30 days of leave per year. Yet, for those of us who are overseas, two days at least will be spent traveling every time we take leave. If you want to take leave twice a year, if you have the money to afford it, you’re losing at least four days of leave.
The Space Available program is great for many marines and their eligible family members, but not everyone can take advantage of it. I used it when I went home for my little sister’s graduation, but if you’re trying to use it during popular travel times of year, good luck! You can only sign up for Space A on the day your leave starts, so you might be wasting a day or two or more of leave. For instance, if I hadn’t received the Ticket Home Award from the Ben Jackson Foundation, I would have tried to take a Space A flight. As it turned out, on the weekend that I left, only one seat was available on that flight back to the States—so the odds are, I probably wouldn’t have made it home.”
Connor’s Struggles Are Not Unique
“It’s fairly common for my Marines to go home once a year or every year and a half to two years. That’s what is expected. Specifically, with my job, there are certain opportunities to go to training back in the States, but that doesn’t mean we can always visit our families during those trips. We can take leave during those trips, but the additional expense is on us.”
Expenses Add Up
“Out here in Japan, I still have to pay for gas and Japanese car insurance. They have three different types of insurance that we have to pay for our cars and yearly inspections, which really add up. Also, while we do have chow halls, a lot of times, with our work schedules, we’re unable to eat during the hours food is served. We might receive some money for food, but unless you’re going off base and looking at all the good deals in Japan, you’re paying on-base prices, which are not cheap. Often, that money isn’t quite enough for food. The Wi-Fi we pay for on our own can cost about $75 to $100 a month here. Haircuts cost us about $15 a time. Marines are required to get those every single week!
All this stuff adds up. If you want to have fun with your time in Japan, if you want to go out with friends and do things on the weekends, you’ll have to pay for those things. Especially being far away from family, doing things with your friends here is extremely important to keep up morale.”
The Suprise Visit Home
“Brady, my oldest brother, was the one who helped me coordinate when I was going to surprise my dad. I landed on Friday night at midnight and the plan was to surprise my dad on Sunday. It was really great to see everybody, including my godchildren. It was an amazing feeling to be Uncle Connor again, back home, rather than just seeing them over FaceTime. I’m very, very close with them. I met my new goddaughter, Raelynn, who was born two weeks before I got home. Those kids are everything to me, and I got to spend a lot of time with them and my best friends.
I definitely needed a day at the beginning of the trip for the jetlag. That first day, I spent a long time sleeping, but I got to see my aunt. Then, when I was rested, Chick-fil-A was the first place we went! I was so excited that I probably had Chick-fil-A five times during the two weeks home. I absolutely love that place, and that was one of my biggest priorities—next to seeing my dad, of course!
My stepmom and brothers knew about the surprise ahead of time, so they kept the secret from my dad. I didn’t want to tell anybody because I know my family, and they can’t keep their mouths shut when there is an exciting secret! I went to church in the morning, and our Father’s Day event at my uncle’s house started around noon, so I went there early to say hi to my extended family—about 40-50 of them!
I got there before my dad, he is notorious for being late all the time. If you can count on anything, you can count on him being late! Sure enough, he was. I got there before him. Then, I hid in the kitchen while my dad came to the backyard. My cousin Chelsea got my brothers, and my dad lined up for a picture. That’s when I snuck up behind him, and Chelsea had my dad turn around. It was an incredible moment.”
The Priceless Boost To Morale
“It was just a great time and meant a lot to me. Being with my family, my friends, and the people I care so deeply about and who care about me also helps my mental health too. It’s easy to feel disconnected being so far away from home, but coming back and seeing family keeps me going and reminds me why I serve.”
Help A Service Member Like Connor
Connor’s story speaks to the emotional toll that active-duty military members face daily while away from home. While it’s critical to help our wounded veterans and other marginalized groups, we cannot forget about the well-being of the young people currently serving. Donate today and create more precious stories like Connor’s!
